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2002-03-04 | 11:09 p.m.

I'm thinking Lafayette, for my dream house, because I've always liked it there. Leafy green and horsey. But then again, I've always imagined myself living near the water. As in right on the water. Today we went down to the ferry building so the kids could ride their bikes and the sea breeze was enough to put me to sleep almost instantly. Not sure if that would be a good idea or not. I always think that I'll want brightest sunshine, but the truth is, it makes me squint. Filtered light is better. As long as it's not dark and dreary, I'll be fine.

I found a house in the Sunday paper that fit my dream house criteria. I'd show it to you, but the realtor, Alain Pinel, doesn't have a picture up on its web site.

"Alain Pinel sucks," I said, as a result.

"Alain Penile?" said Duff.

"Alain Penile, who married Madame Des Functions, and became Alain Pinel Des Functions."

If you want to understand this atrocious joke, try using a very, VERY broad and ridiculous Frainch accent.

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