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prev precipical thinking, or on the road again next
2005-11-30 | 2:14 p.m.

I thought I knew what I wanted. I love the water and I thought I wanted to dive in. I look more than a little ridiculous in a wetsuit, but I was game. But when we got to the end of the road and I looked over the edge, I was surprised to see that what was below it was really a full-on cliff. Like a big fucking Acapulco-style cliff. And if we jumped off it--assuming we lived through the fall--it seemed unlikely that we would ever make it back up to the top. To the road.

I don't want to say that I chickened out, because I don't think that's quite right. I was confident I could do it. It just seemed ... stupid. All of a sudden I wasn't sure that I'd never want to be on the road again. There were still souvenir shops on that road that I wasn't entirely finished with. So I guess I just lost my resolve. I figured we could always come back to the cliff. It's not like it's going anywhere. It's a cliff, right? Souvenir shops change, but cliffs tend to be permanent. Unless you live in Pacifica or certain areas of Southern California. Okay, well, most cliffs stay more or less the same.

But then I had to convince him, because, after all, he had rented the wetsuits, and if he wanted to jump off the cliff anyway, I had to go, too. I thought he was going to say no, let's jump. We came all this way to jump, and I feel like jumping. But he didn't. He didn't want to decide at first but in the end he agreed. We said we could jump any old time, but first we'd spend a little more time on the road. So we turned around and started walking away from the cliff. It's always going to be there, right? The cliff. It's not like it's going away.

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