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2003-02-19 | 12:15 p.m.

I feel like crud. My eyelids are swollen and I feel sleepy and low. I bounced three checks to the library (the library!) and Duff got mad and I felt as bad as if I had killed somebody accidentally. There is no modulation, no volume control available when it comes to my emotions. There is only horrible and worse, which is accompanied by physical symptoms such as chest pains, hyperventilating, and so on. I bounce three checks and I want to break right down and die. No kidding. But something really really bad can happen and as long as I didnít cause it, Iím as calm as a pond.

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