alice - 2005-12-29 23:59:42
I'm not sure how my marriage survived; there have certainly been times that I have wondered how things might have worked out for me if, in the end, I had said, "No. You can't come back." and moved on. But I didn't. And, though I do love the husband deeply, it wasn't about *him*. It was about my children... about the life I'd set out to create... about not losing the wife/mother/woman I had become. I don't really fault myself for that. And where I've ended up works for me... for us. I'm mostly happy, certainly no less happy than most. There are days, like today for example, when life without the frustration he conjures in me sounds pretty appealing. But, big picture, I know this is the right place... the right life for both of us. I think most people who run away, especially those who are also running *to*, are just kidding themselves. The person who is the problem... the unsettled one... you take him/her with you when you walk out the door and the illusion that things will be different somewhere else with someone else is all just smoke and mirrors. The grass is only greener until it's your responsiblity to start mowing and fertilizing, edging and weeding. I, too, have always longed to mean the world to someone, but I didn't marry the sort of man who puts that kind of passion into things. I'm sure I get something in the trade-off... and god knows I'm certainly not perfect either. I'm sorry you're having a sucky spell; I'll keep good thoughts... xo ~Alice
Nancy - 2005-12-31 00:08:49
Okay, tell me the good things about him. You only tell the bad, and to those of us who don't know the brick-and-mortar youses, he sounds like an asshole. Tell us why you want to be with him, why you enjoy being around him and want him in your life. There's a lot of longing for what may or may not be, but where's the beef?? Here's my latest mantra, "identify, respect and act upon reality". For what it's worth. - The peanut gallery

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