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2001-11-05 | 11:26 p.m.

Am soooo tired. Went to football game and got into fight with horrible loud pathetic Broncos fans behind us. Duff transformed into Bulletman, edgy superhero, and nearly carted off to pokey. Favorite black double-breasted jacket now spattered with mustard, ketchup, and nacho cheese sauce. Entire seat of pants soaked with beer poured in my seat by cowardly yuppie asshole Broncos fans. Will never again root for Broncos as long as I live. Raiders fans most noble and chivalric in NFL; Raiders greatest football team of all time (statistics bear this out). Had to leave game early to avoid expulsion. Am now well-versed in entire AC-DC discography.

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