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2004-10-18 | 3:16 p.m.

I'm feeling disappointed. I needed a new wallet, so I bought one on eBay, a pink wallet made by Levenger. I received it today and the only positive I can think of is that it's a good thing I didn't pay retail. I remember being similarly underwhelmed by another Levenger leather item I gave as a gift (and that time I did pay retail.) Conclusion: Levenger may give good catalog, but next time, I'll fly Coach.

A million years ago my mother-in-law gave me a beautiful wallet for Christmas. A big healthy Bosca wallet with room for everything. I had no money that year so I rewrapped it and gave it to my mother. I thought I would be able to replace it later, when I had money, but when I found it I was shocked by how much it cost. I couldn't afford to get another one. When the mother-in-law noticed that I wasn't carrying it, she asked why. I can't remember it it was me or the ex who told her the truth, but I found out later that she was angry about it. I understood why but I wished I could have made it clear that I really did want to keep the wallet. The style was a bit conservative, but the leather was to die for, so I would have definitely carried it. I just didn't have anything to give my mother. My mother! And I knew she would take good care of it. To me, giving something to my Mom is not the same as giving it away. Fifteen years later, my Mom still uses this wallet. She still loves it. I never told her that I didn't buy it myself. Every once in a while I touch it again, just to remember what it feels like.

I was up until past four this morning, writing a letter to a faraway school board, urging them to renew our school's charter. It was dumb; I should have started sooner. I had so many paperworky things to do this weekend that I just imploded. Went on autopilot with dishes and laundry. Keep waiting for the procrastinated bundle to fall on my head.

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