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2002-09-11 | 8:49 p.m.

I am writing not so much because I want to, as because I haven't.

This has been a tough day. This has been a tough month. But this has really been an especially tough day.

Not because it was 9/11. I'm so self-absorbed, I kept forgetting about that. Driving up to the park entrance, some kids were jumping up and down frantically, waving signs at me that said: FREE LEMONADE. IN REMEMBRANCE. COME JOIN US. The mothers were standing a little further back, with their large, patriotic coolers.

I keep finding myself here, bottoming out emotionally, and when I ask myself why, I keep thinking, you know, I really think it might be the chocolate. Because I did have chocolate. But that makes me feel so ridiculous. It's embarrassing. It's not as if I'm binging.

Duff is out with Jasper right now and I can hear a million sirens.

Jasper went back to preschool this week. Pre-K. He is so excited.

There they are now.

Note to self: Don't forget to write about the license plates in the Raley's parking lot.

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