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2001-08-08 | 9:31 a.m.

37. There are a number of contradictory elements to my personality. It gives me pause when I am filling out magazine personality questionnaires. For example, it is possible for me to say in all honesty that I don't care what other people think and I worry too much about what other people think. Another way to put it, I guess, it to say that I am confident enough to stick to my guns when challenged by conventional wisdom or behavior, but I do want to be liked if at all possible and respected, particularly by people I admire, for the decisions I make. So I care, yes, up to a point.

38. I was mistaken before when I said I could eat a dozen donuts. Apparently, that is not true. I can eat one apple fritter, one chocolate raised, and one chocolate old-fashioned, at which point I have to keep one foot on the floor at all times to stop the room from spinning. Note to self: No more donuts for a long while, and never buy a dozen again, no matter how much pleasure you derive from getting the pink box.

39. On the wall above my computer hangs the framed cover from the May 15, 2000 issue of The New Yorker. Mother's Day. It is my favorite New Yorker cover of all time, because it shows a round Mother Nature figure with flowing tresses and flowers in her hair sitting on a park bench, cradling twins, while two toddlers climb all over her. Beside her, flinching in revulsion and fear, is a thin, angular, blue-tinged professional woman clutching a briefcase to her breast. I've got to write to Fran�oise what's-her-name to find out if it's possible to buy a real print of it. Fran�oise Mouly.

40. If I could make a good living out of reading "young adult" fiction, I'd do it.

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