prev meanwhile, back in Gotham City next
2002-07-22 | 9:22 p.m.

After fielding several calls from the Mayor's office, our superhero friends hear from somebody else. In today's episode, Superwoman is played by Criminy, Catwoman by Felony, and Batman by Jasper.

Superwoman: Batman, this is for you. The Mayor's stuff again.

Batman: Otay.

Superwoman: Hey guys. I just got a call from the May... er, beauty parlor. Somebody's over there stealing all their money, ...

Catwoman: Wigs?!

Superwoman: ...wigs, and all the stuff to um, style hair.

Batman: This is a job for you, Catwoman!

***

Was thinking today about joining Mensa. Don't know why I suddenly want to join Mensa. You don't have to tell me what Mensa people are like. I know--or at least I can guess. But I wound up at their web site, and thinking that my test scores weren't high enough to get me in, and then I looked at the requirements, and I thought, Hmm, I think my GRE scores might be high enough, combined, though my math score by itself is embarrassing. So I'm trying hard to remember exactly what my GRE scores were, and where they might be located.

And thinking Oh God, if I've inflated the scores in my mind, and they're not as high as I thought, I'm going to be crushed. Sort of crushed. Maybe.

I think part of it is just wanting to have a way to demonstrate to my kids that I wasn't a moron. I always have this fear that I'll die before they're very old and they won't remember me at all. So I want to have these outward achievements that will make sense to them. With me, so much of what you get is inner life. If I die early, won't I become this amorphous mass of mother-nothing to them? I torment myself with the idea that no one will talk about me very much.

Your Mom was a nice lady.

The thought makes my skin crawl.

At least with Mensa, everybody knows what's required. But then I say to myself, That's stupid. You're not a Mensa person. If you never saw a "brain teaser" again for as long as you live, you wouldn't even notice.

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