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2001-07-10 | 10:11 a.m.

I would love to have a donut right now. But instead I have to pretend to be a food snob and write a restaurant review.

Time for teletubbies

time for teletubbies

time for teletubbies

You know I'm not a food snob. Someone told me once that you could put a Twinkie on the rail of a boat and the boat would disintegrate before the Twinkie would. And I would be the girl who snatched that Twinkie off the rotting boards and stuffed its spongey essence into my mouth.

Oh wait---that Twinkie's been out there bobbing on the waves for some time. Better smell it first, take an exploratory nibble. The truth is, I don't much care for Twinkies. I prefer the chocolate varieties of gateaux, and preferably without insulation foam at heart. The truth is, if you put a Twinkie on the rail of a boat, unless it is in a museum or inexplicably dry-docked at Hostess headquarters, it would most likely fall into the water eventually, and in the water it would disintegrate shortly. Water is merciless.

So I have to write a restaurant review. Here is what I want to say: Go to C----. It is my favorite restaurant in town. If you don't like it, I don't know what to tell you.

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