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2004-06-23 | 12:26 a.m.

Now that the kids are asleep and I can write for a minute I probably won't be able to remember anything I wanted to say. One thing I was thinking this morning was that Reagan was the first president I ever loathed with all my heart. I mean I hated him with gusto. Usually, whenever I've thought of him in the years since he left office, I've thought of all the Salvadoran children who died because of his directives. Nor do I accept the premise that he brought down communism and ended the Cold War. Are you kidding me? Anybody who was paying attention in those days could tell what was coming in the third act. He just happened to have great seats.

Then Bush came along and I despised him. It is difficult to remember now whether I hated Reagan or Bush more, partly because of the sideshow distraction that was Dan Quayle. Bush chose Quayle as his running mate, I decided, because Quayle was the only man in Washington who made Bush seem articulate.

And now we have Bush 2. Despite the historical trend I'm describing, it is hard to imagine that we could someday have a worse president. It is incredible how low we have sunk during this man's tenure; how much good he has undone. It is Orwellian. No wonder people can bring themselves to call Reagan and Bush statesmanlike.

Things are so bad and I don't know what to do. I want to save my country from the bad guys and I can't even get close. It's like a fucking nightmare.

As if last month's news weren't bad enough, now people are screaming I don't want to die! and getting their heads chopped off. Something terrible is happening in the Sudan, and I've got to stop it, only I don't know what it is. It's a fucking nightmare, I tell you. And Dubya goes "Rarh rarh rarh, the free world cannot be intimidated by the brutal actions of these barbaric people," and I think, Oceania is at war with Eastasia. Oceania has always been at war with Eastasia.

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