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2002-05-24 | 8:47 a.m.

My feelings are hurt right now because yesterday I made plans with my mother to go to breakfast with her and her friend Vera and Vera's daughter, who are visiting from out of state. To have waffles, because (as I mentioned here the other day) Vera used to make them for us when we lived in Florida and I was an English major and I enjoy that sort of resonance.

Yesterday morning we brokered the deal in high spirits but when I called this morning, it was like, "Breakfast?! Huh huh, I don't think so." In the background, I could hear echoes of "What?! Breakfast? Not until 10 o'clock at least."

She couldn't remember that we had had the discussion just 24 hours ago. I didn't press the point, but figuratively my mouth hung open in astonishment when she said airily, "Oh yeah, I think I remember something about it now," as if we had made these plans sometime around the Fall of Saigon.

There is more talking in the background and my mother says, "Well, you know, Vera and Charlene have plans to meet Jennifer at Marine World at one o'clock." As if this settles matters, because people do not schedule more than one event per day.

"Yeah, well, I wasn't planning to have a five-hour breakfast."

My Mom chuckles dismissively and says, "Why don't you just come over and visit for a while?"

Now I'm trying not to cry. "No, I'm just going to finish my article."

"You don't sound like you're in a very good mood," she says, demonstrating her intuitive gifts. Then, in a patronizing sing-song voice, "Did you shine your sink today?"

"No," I say, thinking that I would like to shine her sink.

"Well, maybe that's it!" she chirrups.

Finally she hustles me off the phone because she doesn't want to feel guilty and now I am here, fussing over my emotional pain surrounding the missed waffle breakfast. Am I bummed because my Mom and her friends blew me off, or because now I don't get to eat a big fattening breakfast? I distrust my own motives. But there was something else recently where I set aside time for my Mom and she just completely blew me off, because she got somebody else to take her where she wanted to go.

She complains about Diane because--and this is patently true--when Diane is having a hard time, man, she's her best friend for life, but when Diane is doing well, has money and friends, she doesn't need her anymore and treats her like a pest. Well, now I start to think I know where Diane got this trait. And me--do I have it too? My family would probably say yes.

Well, fine, let today be one of those days for me, too. Even if I'll be busy with imaginary friends and not-in-laws who can barely stand me.

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