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2001-05-22 | 9:46 a.m.

I wish I had an angel on my shoulder, or at least a friend with few commitments who could come to my house and sit in a chair (or, if very small, perch in a birdcage) and tell me what to do with myself. Someone who would say "Isn't it about time you took that shower?" or "How about rinsing that bowl out now before the cereal sticks to the sides?" Or more like, "Why don't you give me that bowl and I'll rinse it out?" which would lead me to say Oh no, I can do it myself. I'm glad you reminded me, though.

But there's no one else here right now. And the sound on my computer has died and I can't figure out how to fix it. So it's a very quiet morning. Sometimes I will listen to a few MP3s while I am writing here, but not today.

What I really want to do is write to Ruth for perspective. But I have to finish reading her chapters first. Proof that she is more disciplined. That's what I ought to be doing now. But what about my shower? If I read Ruth's chapters, I might forget to take the shower and have to run out the door to pick up the girls at school. But I really need to shower. It's imperative. It's hot and I'm dressed idiotically, like I am waiting for the television crew from COPS to show up. I have to find my superhero uniform and change my identity, because I'm thinking about driving into the city today to pick up some stuff that I need to fulfill a commitment I made to Birgit, who is the sole remaining employee of the publishing house I'm quasi-affiliated with. My hope is---this is very much close to my chest---that the publishing house will be bought out by a certain Big Shot Publisher (Birgit's working on it) and then they will hire me to be an editor there. A sub-editor. It's really not likely to happen, but we have to set goals in this life. I've hinted to Birgit in a non-pushy way (I hope) that that would be my idea of a good time. Before I went down to Florida, Birgit asked me to read over a mss that came in and tell her whether I thought she should publish it. So I dragged my heels for a couple of weeks (wince) after we got back but finally turned it around in a day and a half with a strongly worded and supported opinion. She seemed very pleased with my report, but then again, what else can she say, really? I did it for free.

Okay, shower first, then finish reading Ruth's chapters. Then everything else, straight on til morning.

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