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2001-05-05 | 4:27 p.m.

We take it for granted in this accelerated age that people can be reduced to, and sufficiently understood by, a mere handful of interests. The Web exacerbates the condition, elevates the tendency to an algebraic formula. Of the following people, reduced to a few of their interests, who would you warm to? Can you decide instantly?

A : muscle cars, Sublime, girlfriend

B : Don Henley, Las Vegas, shopping

C : Pat Barker, AbFab, home improvement

D : natural history, wine and beer, carnivorous plants

E : football, politics/policy, online gaming

F : People, Lifetime, oldies

G : homeschooling, weddings, chocolate

H : low-stakes gambling, thrillers and potboilers, vanilla ice cream

I : Dora the Explorer, Hot Wheels, frozen juice bars

J : KISS, Rocky Horror, hockey

K : Beanie Babies, hockey, angels

L : personal investing, golf, Thomas Kinkade lighthouses

M : politics, opera singing, NeXT

N : extended breastfeeding, Unitarianism, community-building

O : bottle rockets, Cthulhu, co-housing

P : short-story writing, poker, tai chi

Q : feminist politics, entertaining, The New York Times

Well, you get the idea. I was going to say more about this but now I'm bored and want to stop. Besides, you probably already know what I was going to say anyway.

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