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2002-04-16 | 4:55 p.m.

Told you I was having a weird day. I went to pick up the girls from school, knowing that I looked like a total skank and should not, under any circumstances, be persuaded to exit the vehicle. And because I am trying to hurry up and read vast quantities of Infinite Jest for complicated dinner-party reasons, I took the book with me. At the school, I sit not 300 yards away from the girls for ten full minutes waiting for them to notice me in our full-size minivan, but they don't. So what do I do? I exit the vehicle. I set down the book on the seat beside me, still fully absorbed in its reality, right on top of my car keys. Then I get out, lock the door, and slam it shut.

O h h h h , s h i i i i i i i i t .

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