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2004-04-10 | 12:04 a.m.

Oops. I was supposed to write up the school newsletter and I forgot. Some friends are coming for a visit in the morning, and I should have been cleaning the house, but instead I was pricing colored pencils on eBay. Stupid.

I'm tired. Should go to bed. But I just remembered there are ice cream bars in the freezer. In the morning, the kids are going to a friend's church for an Easter party. You know--egg hunt, bouncy house, terrifying stories about crucifixion. Now they're asleep and I forgot to tell them not to say anything that will reflect badly on me. I get a little nervous about these things. I keep imagining Jinx's voice ringing out over the heads of the little tiny children: "My Mom said she doesn't believe in God. She says she thinks Jesus was an ordinary man, not divine, and she doesn't think he could have walked on water or any of those other things." And then I imagine them telling him that they feel very sorry for his mother, because even though she doesn't believe in God, He believes in her, and if she doesn't change her tune she is going to end up in HELL. And then, being Jinx, he will say, "She doesn't believe in Hell, either--in fact, she says even the Pope says hell is a state of mind." At that point, they'll pluck my children out of the group and plunge them into a polluted nearby river to cleanse them of ideological sin, after which they'll be frightened into declaring Jesus H. Christ as their personal savior. And then there'll be this never-ending argument over whether they can go to church on Sunday, and since I won't feel like getting up early to drive them the twenty miles it takes to get there, I'll come off like the devil's handmaiden.

But I could be wrong. I really hope I'm wrong.

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