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2003-03-01 | 9:27 a.m.

When I was about five months pregnant with the girls, I asked Frank if he would be their godfather. I meant I wanted him to continue to be a presence in my kids� lives if I died, not that I wanted him to instruct them in their religious training or take them in under tragic circumstances, or whatever it is that other people�s godparents do. I had this idea (I still do) that if I die, or we die, every idea that made me who I am will die with me. The kids will go to live with Duff�s parents and never even encounter the ideas that shaped my existence. Much less know what I was like.

But the question unnerved him, and he basically said no. He didn�t come right out and say no, of course, but he sort of chuckled and demurred and changed the subject. My feelings were hurt, but I managed not to start crying (which was pretty good considering I was pregnant).

After that experience, I didn�t bother to ask anybody else.

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