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2001-12-21 | 6:58 p.m.

Alice just wrote to me and said, "Have you REALLY not updated in FOUR days???"

It's true; I can't believe it either. I have good excuses, though. First, I was sick. One day, I was musing over the possible benefits of a 24-hour fast, maybe with a little fruit juice at the end of the day to keep me from getting snarly, and the next day my idea was in full effect, like it or not; a cruel joke with a bad smell. Then Felony got sick---pretty spectacularly all over my bed, bedding, my clothes, her clothes--and I had to mother her. Then we got a tree. Then Criminy got sick, too, and Duff ran some sort of quest on the mud (cringe cringe), which required more time and energy than the Pentagon spent deciding who to bomb today. Then I wrote my holiday newsletter--major timesuck--and today I'm printing it out and sending it.

I mean, let's face it. It's Christmas. My Scroogitude factor is pretty high, but I can't, or rather won't, avoid it entirely.

I have been thinking up entries by the truckload but wasn't able to get them in. Maybe I'll be able to salvage a couple of those ideas in the next day or two.

While I was gone, I got a couple of great Google hits. One was

movies with women in quicksand

which is apparently a fetish, and the second was

"I can make myself sneeze".

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