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2001-12-12 | 5:41 p.m.

Why do I get so frantic about this stuff? I don't know. Vanity, maybe. I feel as if I ought to know more about the world, and, more to the point, be able to pontificate about it. But it's not meant to be. I'm a failed professor: I can't profess. I wouldn't make a good politician because I have a tendency to cry when people disagree with me.

But is it just my imagination to think that the whole world is going to hell in a handbasket?

Within the last hour, I've learned that 1) the Israeli cabinet has cut off contact with Arafat and will be deploying their military to make arrests (I guess that resolves the relevancy issue); and 2) Bush is expected to announce tomorrow that the U.S. is withdrawing from the antiballistic missile treaty of 1972, signed by Richard Nixon, to pave the way for antimissile tests.

You know it's a rough day when you're feeling sympathy for the hawks' latest prey---and it's Colin Powell.

I think I will go back to trying to write a holiday newsletter. That's probably more my speed. Although that's another place where I feel I cannot say what I really think (assuming I can even figure out what that is).

I will have to come back to the rest of this when I am thinking more clearly. Right now doesn't seem to be the time for it.

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