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2002-11-11 | 10:39 p.m.

Would just like to point out that, despite appearances, I am not now nor have I ever been an alcoholic. Neither do I suffer from rosacea, to the best of my knowledge. But I have made it a lifelong habit to go out in the cold without always bundling up properly, you see, and now I have lots of broken blood vessels in my nose and cheeks which are most noticeable during the cold seasons.

You know those little towhead Swiss and Scandinavian schoolchildren you see in pictures, wearing lederhosen, skiing down the Alps, fishing in ice holes, posing in Ikea catalogs--with those adorable red cheeks? That's right--broken blood vessels. Now you know.

My father was a red-faced man, too, but he was reddish-brown all over his body, so much so that when I was a kid, I was convinced he was part Native American Indian. Of course, back then, in the seventies, everybody said they were part Cherokee.

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