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2001-07-20 | 11:04 a.m.

I have an idea for the next fashion revolution. We've already seen ripped clothes and overdyed clothes and tie-dye and safety pins and grunge, not to mention scarification and body mod. I think it's high time that stained clothes came into fashion. Most people wouldn't be caught dead in stained clothes, which ought to be enough justification for the designers. Right now I am wearing a T-shirt blue as Bermuda water except for the spaghetti sauce spattered at random intervals like measles. It will be hell getting the shirt clean---but what if I didn't have to? What if Cameron Diaz had a shirt just like it?

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