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2001-07-06 | 10:36 a.m.

Daisy, my wonder dog, barks a soft bark to let me know she's ready to come in. I look at her through the screen door and see a cocky chittering little Jay bird hop down onto Daisy's back and then fly back up to the handrail. Is it possible that this bird is harassing my dog, the toughest and most self-sufficient dog in the world? I stop and watch. The bird stares at the screen door for a few moments, waiting to see what I'm up to, then hops on Daisy's back again and back up to the rail. What is that all about? I realize that me standing there, watching, might be humiliating for Daisy, but I'm fascinated. Still, I am dutiful and let her in.

Jasper has had dry pants for more than two days now. He is a potty-training machine. Maybe I won't have to pay the extra $50 a month for diaper changing when/if he goes to preschool in September. (I say "if" because they gave me the paperwork in March and I still haven't finished filling it out; though I did pay the retainer.) Two mornings a week for $160 a month, payable in 10 monthly installments. It adds up. Ballet is $80 per month for the two girls; soccer is paid for already, as is their membership in the Brownies; and if they do gymnastics that will be another $96 per month. Spanish classes after school cost a bloody fortune, too: add another $80 per month. So our monthly expenses for the kids' activities would be

$160 + 80 + 96 + 80 = $416

Oops, I forgot Felony wants to take a jazz dancing class. So that's another 40 bucks.

$160 + 80 + 96 + 80 + 40 = $456

Per month. Hmmm. Hmm hmm hmm. However, there may be a conflict between soccer and dance. So they may not end up taking all those dancing classes. That's too much stuff to do and too much money. Will have to sort it all out one of these days.

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