prev meat the parents next
2002-07-04 | 12:03 a.m.

I am waiting for my kids to become vegetarians. I figure this would help push me toward vegetarianism. I truly believe that I ought to be a vegetarian, but I've never had the self-discipline. Most of the people I know eat vegetarian meals at least a few times a week. Not me. If I have a meatless dinner, I feel deprived. If I go to a restaurant and consider a vegetarian entree, in the end I will almost always end up with meat. That's because part of me feels like if I'm not getting meat, or at least seafood, it's a rip-off.

My ex, Brian, was a vegetarian and I cooked vegetarian meals for the entire eight years we were together. Now, you would think that would be enough to nudge a thinking person like me into outright vegetarianism. But no--because I am also incredibly stubborn and set in my ways. Sure, I'd eat vegetarian at home, but when we went out, I always had meat. And then, after the S.O.B. moved to South America, he abandoned his vegetarianism--which he had supposedly adopted for moral reasons--so that he could eat steak. Which is one of the two or three post-breakup pieces of information that helped me lose every last scrap of respect I ever had for the man.

Anyway, I am so THERE in every other regard that it would really be convenient if I could just make myself stop eating the damn meat. I dislike preparing meat, especially chicken (my paternal grandmother told me about how she had to actually wring the necks of chickens she intended to eat; I don't think I could manage that even once), and more than half the time, I don't even like the way the meat I eat is prepared. Last but not least, I agree with something like 90 percent of the PETA platform (though we part ways on Bonsai Kitten). That's why I want the kids to come around to my way of thinking. With their help, I might one day achieve vegetarianism. But go vegan? I doubt it. I might be able to ditch eggs or even milk, but I think butter might be my favorite food.

You're probably laughing at me, thinking I'll never make it. Maybe I won't. But I never thought I could quit smoking, either. I tried; I quit for a couple of years, then started up again and worried that I could never quit. It was too hard to stop, too habitual. But a lot of the time that I was smoking, it wasn't enjoyable. I smoked too much and it gave me headaches. BUT I did eventually quit smoking--right around the time I got pregnant with the girls, but before I knew I was pregnant. So there is hope for me yet.

I was over at the PETA site earlier, reading all their action alerts. That's what prompted me to write this. I always hesitate to go there, for fear I won't be able to stomach what I find. But when I got there I found the news sobering, but not unbearable. So that's a lesson for me about facing down my fears and keeping up with what's important to me, instead of letting my dread overtake my conscience.

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