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2001-06-15 | 7:20 a.m.

Today is the last day of kindergarten. There is to be a picnic in the park. I am quietly excited at the possibility that I, a night person, might soon be able to sleep in, on occasion, until 8 or even 8:30 in the morning. Even better, I will be able to stay up past 10:30, like a grown-up, and watch videos instead of renting them and returning them, five days later, wearing a sour and defeated look.

Looking at the date I realize it is my ex's birthday. I have exorcised him from my memory pretty well but there are going to be little reminders now and then. We were together for eight years but I cannot really recall what our day-to-day life was like. Did we get along, for the most part, or not? I can't remember. I only remember external events: we went here, we did that. My hand-written journals of the time are no help, as I only wrote about him when I was mad. It was something I was aware of at the time, but couldn't change. It just never occurred to me, if I was happy, to grab my journal and make mention of it.

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