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Dare I say it? Things are better. We drove a circle around the North Bay on Saturday night, just talking. I drove. We never do this. It was so hard for him to talk about personal stuff that he had to begin by telling me the entire plot of the first two Alien movies and then the plot of a graphic novel I gave him about Alien(s). We are reading self-help books (notably After the Honeymoon by Daniel Wyle: I recommend it. And I'm an expert on self-help books because I shelve them in the library basement and mostly hate hate hate them.) I talked Dr. Wheat into taking us on for couples counseling, even though he has already been my personal therapist and it isn't ideal. But I couldn't find anybody else who had time for us (and worked with our insurance--thinking better to work with someone and not sweat how much it is costing us).
I can't say that our relationship will survive (can anyone ever say that with certainty? Not people like me) but it is healthier now than it has been in the past. So.
I want to write a year in review but I'm not ready. I'll start writing it on paper tonight, during the second half of the four-hour premiere of 24.