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2002-05-20 | 1:10 p.m.

Am very, very, very, very, very, very out of it today. Too many carbs for breakfast, not enough protein? Not only can I not keep focused, I can't even keep my EYES focused.

I started doing Flylady but mostly I just read the messages. I like it, even though it is almost entirely about things I despise or am indifferent to. I'm supposed to get "dressed to my shoes" but I am stuck halfway through because I can't find a bra. It's not as if I only have one. I guess they're all in a meeting, talking about me. Right? I'm supposed to shine my sink first thing but I can't find the plug. Now I suppose I have to go buy a plug to shine my sink, which is a task that never even occurred to me before.

Bizarre.

I have an assignment due to Truant this week. My editor accidentally sent it to my old e-mail address, so it never reached me. Then I got a contract in the mail to sign, and I thought, Geez, I'd better ask him about this, and promptly forgot. Finally remembered Friday--in time to get it done, but will be frantic all the way through. But what else is new. I'm always frantic.

Need protein.

Vera and her daughter are in town visiting my mother. I haven't seen them yet but need to remember they're here so I can get over there to visit. Too easy to forget when something out of the ordinary happens. There are just two more weeks left of school and everybody's schedule is overflowing.

Duff's birthday is in four days. Shit, I forgot about that, too. His parents are coming tomorrow night, late, so we'll see them first thing Wednesday. I told Duff that I find it annoying that he never takes vacation days when they come. Being alone with them makes me feel even more uncomfortable. He says they're not here to see him, just the kids. They come to the house and either want to work on the house, which is weird, or check the kids out like library books. I can't even think about it. I don't blame them but I wish I could just disappear during this time. Or "disapparate," like Felony says quoting Harry Potter.

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