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2001-05-13 | 11:26 a.m.

I'm in a terrible funk today. Just feel like nothing is possible. I hate myself. Want to bury myself underground, live in a cave. I think maybe I should get a job, but I keep talking myself out of everything. I thought okay, I can be a proofreader, but now I remember all the times I felt like I wasn't even very good at that. So what else is there? Maybe I could be a hotel desk clerk or something. Probably the job I was best at in my whole life was when I was writing tickets in a casino sports book, and even then I almost got myself fired for coming to work late too many times. But after they chewed me out about it I wasn't late anymore. I just knew I could never forgive myself if I got fired. That was the kind of job I was born to quit.

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