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2002-03-31 | 7:51 p.m.

Just got back from Damien's house in Cowtown. He lives there with his fiancee, Stefani, and her two kids were there. She shares custody with their father. Her daughter is the same age as the girls, and her son is 8 or 9. We all descended on them: Diane, Bambi and all of her kids, all five of us, and my mother. We were only sort of invited but we stayed for dinner anyway, despite having had a big midday dinner over here. Oh well, what the hell.

In my family, we don't exactly have our act together when it comes to communicating these things. Today is a good example of this. Check it out.

I asked Diane a week ago if she thought people would want to do Easter over here, and she said, "I figured I'd just hang out."

I mull this over for a while, trying to figure out if she has plans with her kids that she doesn't want me to know about or if she is literally planning to hang out. Finally I called Bambi and asked her if she wanted to come over here for an egg hunt, and she said, "It's up to you." I told her I thought it would be a good idea since I have a lawn and she doesn't. We've been doing it here every year since we moved in. I said, "Do you want to do dinner, or just an egg hunt?" She said, "Either way."

I ask her if she thinks she will talk to Damien, in which case can invite him. I ask Diane the same thing. A few days later, I ask them both if they've talked to him yet. Now, I know what you're thinking----why the hell don't I just call him up and invite them myself? And you're right, but the funny thing is, they both tell me the same thing: Damien and Stefani don't know whether they're going to have the kids or not. This doesn't make much sense to me, since they're invited whether they have the kids or not. I've invited (circuitously or directly) Damien every year regardless of who he brought with him.

So to make a long story short, I pick up my Mom this morning (after a miscommunication that results in a spat between me and Duff), Bambi comes with her kids, and when I ask, "Is Diane coming?" and "Is she going to be here for the egg hunt?" everybody says "Yeah!" as in "Of course!" When she finally gets here, we have dinner and she says, "Are you coming to Damien's?" and I say, "I don't know, am I invited?" and she says, "Yeah, well, nobody's invited exactly." And then we drive up there, and Damien says, "Are you guys staying for dinner? Stefani made tons of food." So we stay.

So that's how my family communicates. There is more to write but I am too tired to write it. Except to say, poor Stefani. Damien's always gone for these sweet, wide-eyed girls, and she is probably the sweetest of them all. Next to her the rest of us really come across like a bunch of shrews.

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