prev steadily depressing, low-down, mind-messing, pushy kid and memoir blues next
2002-03-17 | 2:59 p.m.

Funny mood. My period isn't due to start for another week or so (I use the term "due" loosely, since I don't actually follow these things closely----because who do I look like? poor Richard?), but already I'm four days into the emotional roller coaster part, the always on the verge of tears, nothing good will ever happen, when is the sun going to come out, not-depression-but-I-don't-know-what-else-to-call-it, low down, mind-messing, working at the car wash blues.

But I also feel hopeful, in an intermittent way that pretty accurately mimics the weather: first the sun is hiding behind some clouds, then the rain comes, then the sun peeks out and the world lights up.

I think I could write something.

Duff started dragging up some boxes of mine from the basement, and I threw a fit because I didn't want to see depressing reminders of my depressing, failure-filled past, but then when I actually did see some of these things, my mind started filling up with memories.

If a memoir falls down in the forest of my imagination, would anybody want to read it?

(Heh, that was pretty weak.)

Here comes Felony to kick me off the computer. I get so damn frustrated with these kids. Admittedly, this is not particularly important, writing in the diary like this, but they really don't understand that when I am writing something, that MATTERS to me. They just act like I'm some fucking roadkill that they need to kick out of the way. GOD, it makes me angry. And it's not as if I haven't explained it to them. I've already agreed to get off so she can have it----which is NOT what I want to do----and she won't even wait until I'm finished to start asking me if she can load her game into the CD-ROM drive. So I throw a fit and now she's waiting patiently.

Gar, where is my fairy godmother?

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