prev Spongebob Squarepants and me next
2002-03-14 | 1:08 p.m.

How does a kid this witty and urbane end up at a podunk Georgia military school? That's what I'm trying to figure out. Promise you won't tell him how to delete his diary.

What else. Duff's commute buddy is getting ready to take a new job. His old company is failing and he has something lined up, though he'll be taking a $50,000 pay cut----and still making six figures.

(Have I mentioned that I hate these people?)

I know I haven't brought this up in quite a while, but yesterday I talked to a local woman about homeschooling, and I'm pretty psyched about the idea. I'm thinking I would take Felony out of school and leave Criminy in for a while. Criminy is doing well but Felony seems to be languishing. That's my impression, anyway.

The truth is that Felony is so focused on the other kids that it seems as if her entire experience of school is about them, and her personality is a mirror reflecting their ideas and attitudes. I feel like I'm losing her to the cultural slipstream, a.k.a. Spongebob Squarepants. (In my mind, "Spongebob Squarepants" is shorthand for everything I hate about kid culture, well-intentioned or not.) She stayed home from school yesterday (couldn't find her shoes; I know that's an unacceptable excuse but it's the only one I've got) and after spending a few hours alone with her and Jasper I realized that she was being more like herself than usual. I'm curious to know who she might become if left to her own devices and allowed to make her own decisions about what's worthwhile.

Anyway, the woman I talked to is a facilitator for a charter school that's all about pairing up kids who learn at home with teacher/facilitators. As I understand it, I would get to cherry-pick a curriculum, for which they foot the bill, and we would meet with one of their teachers every week to make sure we're on track. Plus they have trips and activities that the kids can participate in. I'm supposed to call another woman today to find out more. I think it could really work.

If it doesn't, I could always send her off to some podunk Georgia military school.

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