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2002-03-10 | 2:32 p.m.

WASHINGTON (Reuters) - Citing a classified Pentagon report, the Los Angeles Times reported on Saturday that the Bush administration has told the Defense Department to prepare, on a contingency basis, plans to use nuclear weapons against at least seven countries.

I was thinking about India and Pakistan, and how some Hindus burned up some Muslims in retaliation for some other Muslims blowing up a train, not really understanding what was going on. Does this bear directly on the dispute between India and Pakistan? And if so, could this be it?

I am always watching for it. The catalyst. Always listening for it. Trying to hear between the lines, but also afraid to listen, for fear I will hear it. Always watching for the situation to blow up in our faces. Waiting.

Mostly, it's about the nukes. But other things, too. Long before September 11th, I read a detailed scenario describing the form an anthrax attack might take if it were attempted in this country.

I've read so many things like this over the years that I couldn't even begin to count them. For years, there have been warnings of all kinds, and not just on the fringes.

After the attacks on September 11th, I heard lots and lots of people saying that their conviction that "this could never happen here" had been shattered. I couldn't understand how they could ever have been so oblivious to threats. How could they have believed this? Didn't we go to more or less the same schools, read the same magazines? I know I wasn't the only person who watched movies about terrorist attacks.The Day After. Red Dawn.

I am an earnest person and a leftist, which means I have for many years now read and listened to the dire warnings of liberal commentators. More to the point, I've taken them at their word. I always assumed that other people did, too. I have always expected the worst. I'm sure I will continue to do so.

I'd like to say more about this but the girls are here trying to make necklaces and talking about farts so I can't concentrate. But that's okay. I've been wanting to get just this simple idea off my chest for weeks.

Okay, one more thing. Yesterday, I was thinking about what to put in a garden. Then I thought, isn't it a bit silly to think about your little backyard garden when the Doomsday clock has been reset to seven minutes to nuclear annihilation? Shouldn't I be out in the streets protesting? I don't want to be oblivious to danger. I want to protect my children. Myself.

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