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2002-01-11 | 9:25 p.m.

I wanted Ethan the soccer player to win Survivor until the last night, when he actually won.

Duff shot up out of his chair and made a piratical noise.

"Aaagghh!" he shouted. "Not Ethan! He was weak! He never won any challenges!" Duff has followed Survivor religiously since before it even aired. I can remember him telling me about this Swedish survival show, and how there were going to be three knock-offs on American TV within the next year. I thought it sounded gruesome and weird, but he was wild for it.

"He seemed like the nicest one," I said about Ethan, but my heart wasn't in it. Ethan had disappointed me, too. Lex pissed me off over and over throughout the season, but in the end, I wanted him to win.

Survivor seems to bear out the notion that being an athlete doesn't count for much in terms of survival. People come on that show bragging about their athleticism and usually, as soon as they dehydrate, they're worthless. It takes a lot of food and water to keep those muscles pumped up. No, it's the stringy little fuckers with the gleaming eyes you have to watch out for.

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