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2004-01-07 | 8:48 p.m.

Jinx has been plagued by some sort of mysterious abdominal pain. He complained near continuously for twelve hours on Monday night. Last night we spent in the emergency room. (In my mindís eye I see us getting ready to go, with him on my hip--heís heavy, even for five--going down the basement stairs to find some clean pants in the dryer, while Iím wearing nothing but a sweatshirt, underwear, one white clog and one sheepskin slipper. Clunk, shoosh, clunk, shoosh, with one leg higher than the other, and the slipper is just a little too big.)

The doctors agree it must be ďviral,Ē since his symptoms bear no resemblance to anything else.

I have also been without Internet access for three days. They promise to give you a connection thatís ďalways on,Ē but they lie, donít they? Even as youíre signing the contract, you know it isnít true.

Actually, I guess they donít even bother with contracts anymore. Itís all about your numbers now.

Been thinking about my Dad. Guess itís a little late to get to know him better (him being dead and all), but I still intend to try. Also started reading Steven Levineís A Year to Live. I think this could be an important read for me. Iíve become less fearful of death over the years (as a kid, often Iíd try to stay awake all night because I was terrified of dying in my sleep). But I am so quick to regret; Iíd like to do more now to make things easier on myself later.

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